• Ted Nugent: Call him Chickenhawk
    May 28,2006
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    Don't you just love the Nuge?

    Here's a true-blue, red-blooded guy that any patriotic American could really get behind.

    Ted Nugent is an avid hunter, a member of the National Rifle Association and hosts two outdoor shows. Every time he takes the stage, Nugent can be seen waving the American flag at his rock concerts. And he's not afraid to say what he thinks.

    The Nuge is also a big fan of the current war in Iraq.

    In fact, the 57-year-old rocker also "told it like it is" during the Vietnam War. Here's Ted on what he would have done if he went to Vietnam:

    "… if I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed, or I'd have killed, or I'd kill all the hippies in the foxholes … I would have killed everybody," he told the Detroit Free Press in an interview published July 15, 1990.

    Fortunately, for our hero, Ted didn't go to Vietnam.

    And how Ted managed to avoid the draft makes President Bush look like a war hero.

    In that 1990 interview with the Free Press and from information collected from the Chickenhawk Web site, Nugent told about how he avoided the draft: "He claims that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment."

    It says volumes about the character of a man who calls himself the Motor City Madman. The Detroit native went out of his way to avoid the defining experience of his generation, then has the gall to talk about how eagerly he would have killed, "if" he had served.

    Nugent has been a lightning rod of controversy from the beginning of his lame career.

    Here are a few choice quotes from Ted over the years:

  • "What's a feminist anyway? A fat pig who doesn't get enough."

  • "Call it ego, call it bragging, call it whatever you want, but there's only one alpha male and that's me."

  • "Organized religion is good for wars, battles … and not much else."

  • "Foreigners are scum; I don't like 'em; I don't want 'em in this country; I don't want 'em selling me doughnuts; I don't want 'em pumping my gas; I don't want 'em downwind of my life — OK?"

  • "I don't objectify women. I'd like to think that I'm optimizing their hardware."

  • "I don't advocate violence, I perform it."

    Speaking of performing, Ted doesn't really rank up there with the real talent. The only genuine hit he has had in more than 30 years is "Cat-Scratch Fever," an irritating, lame ditty that says nothing.

    Nugent joins a virtual dishonor role as one of the 52 members listed as a Chickenhawk on the Chickenhawk Web site.

    What's a Chickenhawk?

    "They're all for war … as long as they don't have to serve," is the official credo of the site.

    At the top of the list is President Bush, who the site says, went AWOL while serving in the Air National Guard. Also listed are Vice President Cheney, presidential advisor Karl Rove and Paul Wolfowitz, one of the architects of the Iraq War.

    There are some other notables on the list, including right-wing blabbermouth Rush Limbaugh, Fox's Bill O'Reilly, Tom DeLay and a host of others who love the war in Iraq, but somehow managed to avoid Vietnam.

    Nugent, a well-known sportsman and avid bow hunter, openly talks about his love of hunting. Sportsman? You decide.

    Nugent, who categorizes his brand of hunting as "whack 'em and stack 'em," was described as an "unethical" hunter in a story that appeared in the Wall Street Journal on July 25, 1995.

    "He shoots at anything," said a Mr. Cairnes in an interview. "You should kill what you can use. He just likes to kill a lot of animals." (Cairnes is a hunting guide who takes people out to stab wild pigs in Hawaii)

    Ted has also pulled in a few bucks while serving as a "guide" on canned hunts.

    According to the Detroit Free Press, "Participants pay the Renegade Ranch (a fenced in, 300-acre canned hunting recreation area) for the animals they kill — anywhere from $500 for a wild boar to $5,500 for a 6-point elk. Nugent tacks on a $250 fee for serving as celebrity guide."

    So why, one could reasonably ask, bring up this nasty Nugent nugget after all of these years?

    Under normal circumstances I would not if Nugent just went about his business of making mediocre music and outrageous comments.

    But since Ted insists on being such a "patriotic" supporter of the carnage in Iraq and such a war-hawk, it was time to put his stand into perspective.

    Nugent could not be reached for comment. At press time, he was in Berlin for the start of his European tour.

    Nugent's disdain for drugs, alcohol and tobacco has been well reported. He has claimed, in a number of interviews, that he "never" took drugs.

    In an interview with CREEM magazine, he told writer Jeffrey Morgan that he finds drug users repulsive. Except when it's time for the Draft Board:

    CREEM: "Are you still a hard case on drugs?"

    Nugent: "Real hard. I have never done a drug in my life. I have never smoked a joint in my life. I took two tokes off a joint with the MC5 one night and almost gagged and thought it was stupid. And that's it. I took two tokes off a joint once. I snorted one line of cocaine. And one line of crystal methedrine before my draft physical — but God, that was worth it because I wanted to see the look on the Sergeant's face. That's it for drugs."

    In a later interview, Nugent told about how he smoked just 50 joints in his entire life.

    Ted hosts "Spirit of the Wild" on The Outdoor Channel and is the star of Outdoor Life Network's new series, "Wanted: Ted or Alive." He also loves guns.

    Except when it comes to carrying one during wartime.

    Contact Dennis Jensen at dennis.jensen@rutlandherald.com
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