They do — in a hurry
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Toolbox
By DANIEL BARLOW Vermont Press Bureau - Published: October 18, 2009
MONTPELIER – Michael Corey Schrader and Brittney Schrader knew they would one day get married.
They just didn't know it would be last Monday.
When Michael Schrader, a 23-year-old member of the U.S. Army, got notice that he would soon be sent to Afghanistan, he did the only thing he could: found the nearest justice of the peace and married the girl.
"We were engaged, but we hadn't set a date yet," said the groom, an Indiana native who relocated to Vermont to work at Norwich University in Northfield.
Brittney Schrader, 19, is pregnant with the couple's first child and likely will have the baby shortly after her husband leaves for Afghanistan. Michael Schrader said there were romantic reasons to get married – they love each other and want to provide a solid home for their child – but practical reasons, too.
"We needed her to be under my military insurance when I'm overseas," he said. "The baby will probably be born after I'm gone."
But who do you turn to when a marriage ceremony needs to be performed in a hurry on a Monday?
"I had about 10 minutes' notice," said Nate Freeman, a Northfield businessman and justice of the peace.
The soon-to-be Schrader couple got Freeman's contact information from the Northfield town clerk, and his home is just down the street from Norwich University, a military school. Freeman had done one other military marriage before this – "a Norwich guy who just found out he was deployed."
That previous wedding, held in the fabric supply room of Freeman's upholstery business, was less than memorable. Freeman said he knew this one needed to be special, so he began to jot down some words to say in place of the traditional exchange of vows.
"This is supposed to be important," said Freeman. "I couldn't let their wedding day not be as important as it possibly can. It's a rite of passage and no matter how quickly the marriage came together, the ceremony should be beautiful and memorable."
When the couple showed up that day, it had been only 90 minutes since Michael Schrader learned that he would be deployed to Afghanistan.
"We couldn't wait any longer," Schrader said.
Freeman ditched the fabric supply room backdrop and took the couple out to his yard, where he has three granite monuments. Each of the art pieces is inscribed with parts of one of Freeman's poems, each based on a different male hero archetype.
"I didn't have a chapel," Freeman joked. "But I had granite."
Held in the small clearing, the ceremony was intimate: the couple, Freeman and a family member as a witness. The Schraders say they will have a full-blown wedding when life is a little less hectic. But this one was special.
Freeman spoke of the shared service and sacrifice that the couple were making. Michael Schrader is putting his life on the line for the country while also dedicating his life to his young bride. Brittney Schrader places life with her new husband on hold for months – and more likely years – while he is away.
"Corey, you may face risk of life and trauma; Brittney, you may face loss and loneliness," Freeman told them, addressing the groom by the name many family members call him. "We wish you both the greatest shields of safety and a community of loved ones no matter where you are."
Marriages can be hard, but military marriages have a whole host of additional pressures. Divorce and domestic violence rates are higher for military families, according to recent studies, and long deployments cause serious strains on even the best relationships.
Military officials have recognized these hardships in recent years and put in place programs and support systems for married members of the military and their spouses, according to Katie Savant, the government relations deputy director for the National Military Family Association.
"It is different for every couple," said Savant, who has been married to a Marine for eight years. "There are a lot of pressures and problems that face couples who have been married for 20 years and couples who are newlywed."
The Army Family Readiness Group can help couples work out vital details before a deployment, including organizing powers of attorney, wills, financial arrangements and medical care, she said.
Savant also recommended that new military couples look at Military OneSource (www.militaryonesource.com), a government program that she said offers extensive advice on how to prepare for a long deployment.
"One of the keys is figuring out how to communicate with your spouse long distance," Savant said, adding that some deployed soldiers are able to have regular contact with loved ones while others may be stationed in more remote areas. "This can be especially difficult for newlyweds who may not have figured out yet their successful communication styles."
Michael Schrader doesn't know yet how often he'll be able to call home while he's in Afghanistan. He already has been to war once, spending nine months in Iraq in 2007. If he's at a military base, he may have access to computers and phones regularly.
That's on his mind a lot with the upcoming birth of his first child.
"My deployment comes really close to her due date," he said. "I may miss it. I may have to hear about it from a phone call."
Brittney Schrader wasn't available last week for this story, but on the evening of her wedding she updated her Facebook status, telling people she was "going to bed … with my husband."
The final words of their ceremony had Freeman asking the couple to make promises to each other.
"Corey, will you come back to Brittney as soon as you can?" he asked. "Brittney, do you promise to be faithful and true?"
They do.
Daniel.Barlow@timesargus.com
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