Here is the Udder candidate
This is an open letter to the people who voted for me for governor last cycle — I thank you.
I want to let you know what is happening. We are deep into planning for next election season. It’s my belief we need something entirely new and fresh. Something that in no way reminds us of politics as it has devolved. So I called on the spirit of Fred Tuttle, and I found something that reforms our issues in an uplifting way. I tapped Jean Stapleton’s wisdom (1923-2013, “All In The Family”): “There’s nothing like humor to burst what seems to be an enormous problem. Humor reduces it to nothing and wipes it out,” and discovered something that penetrates the deepest apathy and overrides the sorry politics of pitting neighbor against neighbor. I want something that stirs action and brings us together to set Vermont on a beneficial course. I found that something. That something is De Udder Party. This is the birth of De Udder Party. This Udder Party is the political embodiment of everything we cherish: homemade, caring, creative, funny, and stable. Our mascot and totem is the bovine.
Now I run again for governor as De Udder candidate. In the past Seven Days magazine called me a “fringe” candidate; now I see fringe is divine. You’ll soon see our fringed campaign flags. Last election, by the most modest of calculations, Pete Shumlin spent over $1.67 on each vote, Randy Brock spent at least $6.36, but I spend under 25 cents, including the court costs of asking Superior Court to support my right to participate in debates. The judge obviously didn’t agree that I had that right to defend an alternative platform or that you had the right to know I had one either. Oh, well. Now I am certain that with a little help from my voter friends, I can get 17,000 votes so that in 2016 they can’t bar me from these debates any longer. Then we can truly reshape the political conversation.
We invite everyone to a public meeting in Rutland for De Udder Party on Wednesday, Dec. 11, 7 p.m., at the Turning Point, 141 State St. A big turnout would be awesome, so we hope you come.