On Aug. 2, 338 BCE, Philip II, of Macedonia, a conqueror you really ought to know, not to be confused with Philip I, leading the Macedonian army, pounds to flinders the combined military forces of Athens and Thebes to secure dominance, hegemony and consolidation of those city-states, which is, of course, what a self-respecting conqueror endeavors to achieve.

RH: This is a pretty easy one. I think you can get this. It’s not so hard. It’s about Alexander the Great. So let me read this. It’s written down because I can’t remember any of this, but it says, “Alexander the Great, descended from warriors,” as who wasn’t in the ancient world. You got to have some skills. “His father, no slouch in the conquering business himself, was ....” This is multiple choice.


RH: Number A: Philip the First, of Macedonia. B: Philip the Second, of Macedonia. Or C: Ivan the Terrible. Your choice. You want to hear those again?

IV: Oh, gosh. History is not a forte, but I’m going to go with Ivan the Terrible.

(Obnoxious loud fail buzzer)

RH: Ahh, I’m terribly sorry. It was Philip the Second —

IV: The Second!

RH: — of Macedonia. Ivan the Terrible was a Russian.

IV: What I study is culinary. I study fungus, I study people, I study business. History is in the past. We learn from it, but there are certain things from high school and college that I didn’t really need, so I took what I needed, and I left the rest.

RH: You look like a film buff, so this is a film buff-related question. So which of this film actresses played the Egyptian queen Cleopatra in the eponymous movie? OK? It’s multiple choice: A: Claudette Colbert. B: Elizabeth Taylor. C: Theda Bara. Which actress played Cleopatra in the movies?

KS: What was the last one? I’m sorry. What was “C”?

RH: C was Theda Bara.

KS: B. Elizabeth Taylor.

(Joyous winner bell chimes)

RH: That’s it! You win! It was Elizabeth Taylor. It’s $100 in fake money.

KS: Oh, fantastic!

RH: So don’t spend this here at the market because it’s no good. It’s fake, totally fake, and you’ll just get in trouble.

KS: It looks so real though.

RH: I gave you $200. You got to give one of those back.

KS: I thought I was special.

RH: Well, you’re special, but that kind of dough is hard to come by.

August 2, 1939. A letter, drafted by Hungarian physicist Leo Szilard, who in 1933 comes up with the idea for nuclear chain reaction, then in 1934, with Enrico Fermi in Chicago patents the idea of a nuclear reactor. The letter’s signed by his friend, colleague, fellow theoretical physicist, Albert Einstein.

RH: All right, here’s the question: In 1926, Albert Einstein and his former student, Leo Szilard, invented this useful item. OK? 20th-century history. A: Atomic Energy. B: Radar. C: A refrigerator with no moving parts. Which one of these three do you think it was?

HA: I think probably radar.

(Obnoxous failure buzzer sound effect)

RH: Ohh, I’m sorry!

HA: I know he did atomic energy, but I wasn’t sure about the time.

RH: Later, they did something like that, but no, it was a refrigerator —

HA: A refrigerator.

RH: — with no moving parts because it’s safer.

HA: Makes sense.

RH: But thanks for playing. Oh, wait, you can get extra points — you get the prize if you get this one right. Radar spelled backwards is —

HA: Radar!

(Joyous little deskbell chimes)

RA: Ayyy, you win the prize!

HA: Yay!

RA: You’re so lucky today! Here, let me dig it out. It’s a hundred dollahs in absolutely fake money!

HA: Thank you! That is fantastic! It’s the best thing I’ve had all day!

Lois Lane keeps getting herself into jams with criminals and weird creatures, like the time she got trapped in that warehouse with a thawed-out dinosaur. Every time she falls off a skyscraper and Superman has to catch her and fly her to safety, she senses that something different, develops a thing for him and keeps Kent on the back burner even though the two guys have a startling similarity, looks- and scent-wise.

RH: Clark Kent’s first girlfriend, his childhood sweetheart,

former little red-headed girl, before Lois Lane, was who?

There are three possibilities. It’s multiple choice. There’s

A: Sweet Phleta Macomber; B: Phyllis Irving Francis; or

C: Lana Lang.

ER: She was Lana Lang.

(Chimes of freedom flashing)

RH: You got it! All right! Thank you! Here’s $100 for you!

$100 in absolutely fake money! You can’t spend this

anywhere, it’s no good for nothing, but that’s the prize.

ER: Thank you! I love it!

RH: Yeah, don’t spend it here —

ER: Oh, I won’t.

RH: — because everyone here knows, what fake money is.

They get it all the time. You don’t want it? All right.

ER: That’s fine.

RH: My money’s no good here, is that what you’re saying?

ER: Your money’s no good here.

RH: Thank you, Elle.

ER: Thank you!

The atomic bombs dropped over Japan on Aug. 6 and Aug. 9, 1945, immediately, completely devastate their targets. During the next two to four months, the acute effects of the atomic bombings kill between 90,000 and 146,000 people in Hiroshima and 39,000 and 80,000 people in Nagasaki; roughly half of the deaths in each city occur on the first day.

World War II, between Sept. 1, 1939, and August 15, 1945: An estimated total of 70–85 million souls swept away, about 3% of the 1940 world population (then an estimated 2.3 billion.

RH: What specific event on Sept. 1, 1939, triggered World War II? It’s a multiple choice: A: Pearl Harbor attack; B: Invasion of France; or C: Invasion of Poland.

BD: Poland.

(Happy winner deskbell chimes)

RH: That’s right! You win! You’re a winner today, Bill. Here’s $100 in fake money!

BD: Ahhh!

RH: It’s all fake. It’s completely fake. It’s so fake it even says right on there in Magic Marker, fake, F-A-K-E.

BD: It’s a beauty!

RH: You like it?

BD: Yeah!

RH: You can’t pass that anywhere. No one’s ever going to be fooled. And if they are, it says “fake” on it right there, so you’re in the clear.

BD: You just show ’em that side first.

RH: Yeah, that’s the first side. Make sure they know it’s fake.

BD: Absolutely.

RH: If they take it, it’s on them, right? Thanks for playing Street Talk!

For this performance only, the part of Elle Ryan is portrayed by Miss Myrna Loy.

Visit bit.ly/0803WontGetFooled to see, read and hear the complete interactive multimedia stories.

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